Sunday, June 27, 2010

my "ah-ha" moment...

Today I heard a LOUD message...

A few of you know that I've been struggling with how I've been meant to serve.

I don't necessarily like everyone's children... but did enjoy my time in the children's area. Unfortunately I am not able to commit to projects during the work week and thus guilt. I don't have a lot of friends visit the church and AGAIN guilt.

I've never questioned why it took over 30 years for me to find the Lord; I know it's the plan that was determined for me. I can even find the message intended for me in terms of the debt that I've incurred... I'm stubborn... if I'm going to learn anything the lesson needs to be SCREAMED at me.

Today I had the opportunity assist with a group of visitors that are interested in taking steps (some of them, their first steps) in their relationship with Christ. For the first time I had an opportunity to tell others my personal journey. While I may not have many personal friends come to the Anchor, I have exhibited the characteristics of a Christian and therefore shared with so many and didn't even realize it!

After this experience I realized that the reason that I've been so easily (most days) to follow my new financial plan to get out of debt is because I have a new purpose in life. Once out of debt, I will have the freedom to devote additional time and my talents (yes, my talent is talking, drawing people out, making fun of myself and just making people comfortable).

"Ah ha"... I believe that God is using me to help develop relationships with people to help them with their walk!

My family should be debt free in 31 months due to hard work and faith that the Lord will provide. I will be using these 31 months to become more educated about the bible and pray that I'll be used to lead. After my debt is paid off I will be able to dedicate MUCH more time to my community and make those in the beginning of their journey feel comfortable in their next steps.

AH-HA and most importantly AMEN!

Monday, June 7, 2010

life's inspirations...

So I whined yesterday... and did it make me feel better? It ABSOLUTELY did!!

I've found out that I'm not alone in my feelings and my journey (which is always nice to know) and maybe, just maybe I can help someone in their spiritual journey.

And you know what, I am doing a good "job"... my children can find bible verses without tabs (I, sadly, cannot yet quickly), have started tithing without me pushing, understand that God is first and are genuinely kind to others.

I've learned that I no longer want to be materialistic... no one really cares if I wore the same outfit the week before... none of these items are mine. And the things that I've been blessed with I will take extreme care.

My church is starting Servolution next week which is what we call several months of just doing nice gestures for others... strangers! How lovely would it be when everyone is just kind to each other? Our jails would be empty!!

Yesterday, my parents were blessed with a gift (they are going through tough times financially but NOT spiritually) and my heart literally SWELLED!

God is good!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

life's disappointments...

So, it's been MONTHS since I've blogged. I was so gung-ho and excited to start one but, much like many other things that I've started, once I did it I didn't keep it up. I would really LOVE to use this as an outlet... so here goes nothing...

I did promise that I would not use my blog to complain and WHINE but I am and hopefully only today. I am hoping that this will be some form of release for me.

As a few of you may know, I found religion less than two years ago and my life has completely changed. I now have a different purpose in life... it's not to have the most money, the biggest house and the most well behaved children... it's just simply to be a GOOD human being and hopefully raise two great human beings. That being said, I've had my ups and downs and recently found myself disappointed in some people that I've made "important" in my life.

Logically I know that people are not perfect and are allowed to make mistakes. I just have difficulty letting go of the hurt, and let's be honest, the anger that comes with it. I call it a Trimble trait; we definitely know how to hold a grudge!

I need to remember how far I have come in my journey and realize how much further that I have to go. I strive to be perfect but will stumble many, MANY times in my journey as do those "important" people in my life, as we are only human.

I hope all those that actively participate in my life realize how much I truly LOVE and value them... without you my journey would be even more difficult. For those that may be in the "disappointed" category I LOVE and value you as well... you are making me stronger!